Some of Them Come With You

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post. And honestly, I wasn’t planning to write one this week. But then my friend Mark started sending me pictures from San Diego.

Mark is at the SAFe & AI Summit this week, an event produced by Scaled, formerly Scaled Agile, where I spent eight years of my career. For most of those eight years, that conference was a huge part of my world. I planned it, stressed over it, celebrated it, and met some pretty incredible people because of it. Including Mark.

So when the pictures started coming in, I had a little FOMO. Okay, maybe a lot of FOMO. It was weird seeing something that had been such a big part of my life happening without me. I knew I had made the choice to leave. I wanted a new challenge and an opportunity to do something different. I was ready for that change.

But being ready for something new doesn’t mean you don’t miss what you left behind. And I think that surprised me a little. Then Mark kept sending pictures. Selfies with people I worked with. People I laughed with. People I spent countless hours with at conferences over the years. People I haven’t seen or talked to in a while, but who played some kind of role in those eight years of my life.

And somewhere along the way, the FOMO changed. Instead of making me sad that I wasn’t there, the pictures started making me smile. Because the truth is, I didn’t leave all of those people behind when I left Scaled. I still keep in touch with so many of them. Maybe not as often as we did when we were all part of the same day-to-day world, but they’re still part of my community.

And some of those relationships have gone on to have completely new chapters of their own. New adventures, new memories, new reasons to get together that have absolutely nothing to do with the place where we originally met. That’s the part I hadn’t really stopped to think about until this week.

We talk about career changes like we’re closing one chapter and starting another. New job. New people. New experiences. Onward. But people don’t necessarily belong to only one chapter. Some of them come with you. The relationships change. You don’t see each other at work every day. You don’t end up at the same events all the time. You might go weeks or months without talking. And then someone sends you a picture. Or you meet up somewhere. Or you go on some completely new adventure together.

And you realize the connection is still there. Maybe that’s what community really is. It isn’t necessarily the company you work for, the event you attend, or even how often you see each other. It’s the people you collect along the way who somehow continue to be part of your life.

I can miss being there this week and still be really happy with where I am. I can be proud of what I helped build and also be excited about building something new. And I can watch a community that meant so much to me continue to grow without feeling like I’m no longer part of it. I’m just part of it differently now.

So, Mark, keep sending the pictures. Keep taking selfies with everyone I know. I’m proud of you, I love seeing you so ingrained in this community, and I’m really glad that several years ago this crazy conference brought us together.

But Mark, if you ever decide to take another e-bike ride, Sebastian and I better be there. Some adventures just shouldn’t happen without us.